Valentine's Day: The Meaning of The L Word and Why it's important to Practice Self-Love.

As Valentine's Day approaches I see more and more posts on social media almost putting pressure on the majority, posts that make many feel like they are lacking just because they do not have a significant other, then the dreaded peer pressure sets in, and the need to feel normal, the need to impress friends by being who they want you to be, the need to be perfect, the need to belong- well call me boring but all that is "superficial", as long as you have love living in your heart, your flesh, your bone, you are rich and lucky.

I'll tell you what I think love is or should be, but first, you should define love for yourself and consider what it means to you and what you bring to it while you read this post.

Love is like endless music—it seems too lovely to be real, yet there are never enough words to describe how it feels and touches you. Love is contentment, benevolence, compassion, selflessness, and shielding.

The other day, I received the following question: Linda, why do you continue to love so deeply even while you are hurting on the inside? "Love is not what you say, love is what you do," was my straightforward reply. Throughout my life, I have always placed a higher importance on deeds than words, and while I have had my fair share of heartbreak, disappointment, and betrayal, I have never allowed it to alter who I am or what I stand for.

However, as of late, I have discovered that I am an advocate for the need to engage in more "Self-Love" and less hate. Don't be too hard on yourself and don't say things to yourself that you wouldn't say to your loved ones since the world is already a frightening and gloomy place. Remember that "YOU" are listening, so be gentle to yourself when you speak to yourself. 

I write this post as an open diary not just to you my readers but also to myself. I was raised by life and it's still teaching me every day the important lessons of life, I am so proud of my journey and if you knew my story you'd be proud of me too. I will outline some tips on how you can practice self-love and self-awareness below;

1. Write a love note to yourself:

Sounds strange, huh? Perhaps some of you already do this, but for those of you who are reading this and raising your eyebrows, listen carefully;

 
Shut your eyes, then visualize this: You are exhausted after working late into the night and hearing your boss or team leader's harsh voice all day, you get home and as you walk past your refrigerator, you notice a sticky note you wrote to yourself last week that says, "Hang in there, we got this, don't give up, we have come this far and we will go all the way." You also see a note that says, "I love you, and I am proud of you, now wipe those tears and go have a soak bath."  

The lesson here is that it will make you smile, might not work the first few days but with consistency, you will begin to see the benefits.

2. Choose forgiveness and Let it go:

Let go of what keeps you up at night, what you think about when you can't sleep, the past, your terrible actions, your guilt, and everything else. Live up to your reparations. Should you have committed a transgression, proceed to lead a virtuous and optimistic life. It does more good to share that with the world than it ever could to hate oneself. I know it's easier said than done but you can do it. Make the decision today to be someone new, someone true and genuine, someone who makes people believe that there is still good in this world.

Extend forgiveness to other individuals as well. Let go of it and forgive yourself if someone made you feel inadequate or unworthy of love, whether it was your parents, an ex-spouse, or a lover. It is not beneficial for you or anybody else to hold on to that toxic energy. It's really difficult to let go of that baggage, but the effort is worthwhile trust me. I learned the act of forgiveness when I discovered that forgiveness is not about them it's about us.

3. Do not give up:

Remember the saying "Rome was not built in a day?", well it's true. The journey to self-love is not easy but it is worth it with patience, consistency, determination, and resilience. Never give up because great things take time. Success is what happens after you have survived all your disappointments.

4. Pamper yourself:

Treat yourself to something nice occasionally. Take yourself shopping, and order something special off your wishlist. Make it a habit to book a lovely getaway every once in a while, you could either go with someone who makes your day brighter or go alone and just enjoy some "me" time. Do something for you because you deserve it. For so long you have lived your life thinking about what other people would say or think, but this is the time to say "sod it" I am living for me. 

5. Set healthier boundaries:

Setting boundaries can be painful, isolating, or make you feel like you are being mean, but whatever brings you inner peace is definitely good for you and if setting boundaries will do the trick why not go for it? Sometimes we keep people around us because we want to hold on to the good memories however if their words and actions hurt you, make you feel like you are not enough- why keep them around? It's time to put yourself first and let go of what no longer serves you or helps you grow.

Conclusion:

This article began with a different topic, but as usual, it turned into a post about how important it is to emphasize self-love. After all, you are reading my public diary, so I'm also talking to myself even as I write this. I got myself a beautiful Valentine's Day present last year, and I was overjoyed when it came in the mail. This year, I'm doing something different, but it's still motivated by self-awareness and self-love. This Valentine's Day, I want you to treat yourself to something unique and meaningful. If using social media won't improve your attitude or circumstances, stay off of social media platforms and stay away from anything that might place pressure on you, slow and steady wins the race. 

Remember, when you put goodness into the world, the universe sends good things back to you, but if you put out animosity, the same thing will return to you. Choose kindness, spread love and not hate, help without seeking something in return, and watch your life blossom into something beautiful.

If you enjoyed this short article, please don't forget to share it with your friends and loved ones.

Have a wonderful day.

xoxo

Linda Bella

Instagram|@Lindaobella